how do our fights usually occur?

it usually starts off with amy giving me a very specific set of directions. for instance, she instructs me not to leave our bags unattended during a picnic while she goes to take care of something. she repeats her directions slowly and even points with her finger. i confidently reassure her that i can do just fine. in fact, i offer her a smug smile and give her a thumbs up.

i am doing splendidly, diligently standing guard next to the bags when suddenly, something awesome happens to pass by. like a huge cat on a leash or a man giving out free frozen yogurt or in this case, bubbles. large iridecent bubbles that float by my head. i forget the bags and follow the bubbles.

when i return, the bags are gone but amy is there. she stares at me, wondering if i am hiding them behind my back. but i am not. i don't have the bags. she then looks down at the grass. no bags.

she demands to know where they are. i get that assed-out feeling i used to when i was a kid, waiting for my parents to open up my report card. i put on my guilty, apologetic face (which i am very good at) and twirl my fingers but this only makes amy angrier.

then we leave the picnic and amy threatens never to take me on such fun outings again. but then i buy her a pint or two and the two of us are ok once again. yay!

but the last bit would only occur if our wallets were not in our bags. otherwise, i wouldn't have had the money or ID to buy her the pint. and amy would have been mad at me for a much longer period of time.

the moral of the story? don't be distracted by bubbles. and keep your wallet on you at all times.