menagerie de morte

i'm actually not a huge fan of zoos. i've only been to the one in los angeles when i was a child, and i distinctly remember two things: the smell, which seemed especially horrible in the summer heat, and the bored expressions of the animals. this initial impression kind of stuck with me, which is why i never went again.

this morning, i was cleaning out my computer files, deleting stuff that i no longer need, when i stumbled across an old picture i drew, which i had titled: menagerie de morte. it's very rough and rudimentary, but i was much younger when i drew this. i think i subconsciously depicted what i felt and how i viewed the zoo experience. either that, or i drew it when i was going through my dark, angsty pre-teen stage.

 but on a brighter note, happy friday to you all! i hope everyone has a splendid weekend.

how to surprise somebody in 2 easy steps

step 1: wait and stand around with an aloof, bored expression on your face. try to appear calm.

step 2: when everything is quiet and nobody is expecting it, jump up and scream at the top of your lungs.

this will ensure a successful surprise. make sure not to scream words like "bomb" or "fire" because this could cause unpleasant reactions from those around you and result in stampedes, panic, and general chaos. also, make sure that nobody around you is currently pregnant or suffering from heart problems.

otherwise, happy hunting! go surprise some folks!

swimsuit season

summer is approaching and the sun is coming out with more frequency up here in seattle. and after years of waiting, i've decided to finally invest in swimwear. but before i make my purchase, there are some things i need to consider. i actually like to swim, so i'm not sure how well an eensy weensy yellow frilly bikini would hold up, no matter how pretty it is. besides, i'm pretty certain that although it's supposed to look like this:

it'll look more like this on me:

then there's the option of going 80's! how can a throwback to 80's fashion ever go wrong? ha! maybe i'll go for the shimmery animal print one piece. the one with the low back and high cut that you'd see on linda evangelista. knowing my luck, i'll look more like tarzan.

so here's what i have decided on. the kind that men with waxed moustaches wore before being attacked by the great white shark on the jersey shore in 1916. knee-length, decent coverage, and stripes. it's got everything i need and like.

another "getting married" wedding cake topper giveaway!

we are having another "getting married" wedding cake topper giveaway through simply bloom photography. they are wedding photographers who take the most beautiful, unforgettable pictures; in fact, they travel around the world for their work! if you would like to increase your chances of winning a free "getting married" wedding cake topper, visit here for an additional opportunity! best of luck, brides and grooms!

how do our fights usually occur?

it usually starts off with amy giving me a very specific set of directions. for instance, she instructs me not to leave our bags unattended during a picnic while she goes to take care of something. she repeats her directions slowly and even points with her finger. i confidently reassure her that i can do just fine. in fact, i offer her a smug smile and give her a thumbs up.

i am doing splendidly, diligently standing guard next to the bags when suddenly, something awesome happens to pass by. like a huge cat on a leash or a man giving out free frozen yogurt or in this case, bubbles. large iridecent bubbles that float by my head. i forget the bags and follow the bubbles.

when i return, the bags are gone but amy is there. she stares at me, wondering if i am hiding them behind my back. but i am not. i don't have the bags. she then looks down at the grass. no bags.

she demands to know where they are. i get that assed-out feeling i used to when i was a kid, waiting for my parents to open up my report card. i put on my guilty, apologetic face (which i am very good at) and twirl my fingers but this only makes amy angrier.

then we leave the picnic and amy threatens never to take me on such fun outings again. but then i buy her a pint or two and the two of us are ok once again. yay!

but the last bit would only occur if our wallets were not in our bags. otherwise, i wouldn't have had the money or ID to buy her the pint. and amy would have been mad at me for a much longer period of time.

the moral of the story? don't be distracted by bubbles. and keep your wallet on you at all times.

winner of the easter themed paper dolls from mates & rubbish!

congratulations to our follower, vanessa baker! you have won the "barbaric bunny" and "churlish chick" paper dolls!

please email us within 7 days to claim your prize. we look forward to hearing from you!

i jump, you jump

we have many strange wishes, but one of the longest lasting and most stubbornly unsuccessful one is to have an epically awesome jumping photo. the kind that you post as your profile photo so that your friends can make comments about how wonderful and marvelous you look (in more hip terms, of course). for example, something like this:




or this:

or this:

unfortunately, after many attempts where we didn't even manage to get our feet off the floor, here is what we ended up with.

first, amy:



that is not a moustache, just her hair




notice the dog staring and judging


then emily:



look carefully; boots are appx 3 inches off the floor




jump? fail. scary blurry face? success.


jumping is not nearly as easy as dean martin or george clooney make it look. take it from us. we're still gathering ideas on how to make it look like we're floating in air rather than being attacked by an invisible horde of monkeys.

the gloomy children

here are a series of prints from mates & rubbish: the gloomy children. they're not available yet (we've been lucky to have so many awesome requests for custom orders at lace & rubbish) but the prints will be out and about in the near future.

the children are all quite sad for one reason or another. we hope you enjoy them, despite the unhappy contents.




broken egg



dead pet

the dunce cap

sick on a saturday

a food-filled week

we went down to portland and had the world's most delicious salad. spicy greens, cauliflowers, barley, tahini sauce, and sriracha. sounds like a peculiar combo, but it was so unbelievably yummy that it actually made us sad when we were finished and full.

once we were back in seattle, we ended up making some vegetarian meals, which we proceeded to devour. we made chili from scratch, with black beans and chickpeas and tons of onions and other veggies. we made it so spicy that our throats hurt, but it was worth it. we also ended up roasting tofu kabobs, with apples and bell peppers and onions.

oh, and we found a brand new type of tea at an asian market. but after a great deal of thought, we ended up not purchasing it.

my new moleskin

i use moleskins mainly to write out things i need to get done, like chores and grocery lists. it's a disgrace to a moleskin, i know, but i'm not disciplined enough to keep a written journal so the moleskin would just sit around and collect dust otherwise.

but in all due respect, i decided to add some color to mine and ended up with rufus. i don't know much about rufus yet, which is why i left the speech bubble blank. mayhaps in the days to follow, he'll end up saying something awesome like: "you rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles."

here's rufus:

hearts and bunting

we are now offering two new types of wedding cake toppers on lace&rubbish!

it took us some time to come up with new and different types of cake toppers, but we hope it was worth the wait. we did some research on etsy and other stores online as well as at boutiques and the shopping mall, and found that bunting seems to be quite popular. with good reason, of course. they're lovely to look at and add a festive note to the simplest of things.

for the pictures, we ended up using the same figurines and just changed the ribbon for the base as well as the flags in their hands.


here is "heart to heart":

and here is "beloved bunting":



what do you think? we kept the cake toppers looking somewhat simple, so that if the customer wishes, he/she can request accessories to jazz up the appearance.

we'll be working hard to come up with more ideas for different styles of cake toppers. themes that others might enjoy; because although we're partial to dinosaurs and robots, we doubt two figurines in matching metal suits costumes riding atop a T-Rex would sell on etsy.

tea boat

after a couple of amazingly sunny days here in seattle, we were greeted with rain yet again early this morning. so amy and i made ourselves some tea. then i went down to the basement to grab some material for a new wedding cake topper, and when i came back up, i was greeted with a boat. for my tea.

i put it in the cup and watched it float for several seconds. it was lovely. perhaps it was the heat, but it moved around a bit over the surface of the water.

and then it sank.

winner of the "simple is sweeter" mini wedding cake topper!

congratulations to our follower, jbelee! you have won the "simple is sweeter" mini wedding cake topper!

please email us within 7 days to claim your prize. we look forward to hearing from you.

"getting married" cake topper giveaway!

we are giving away a free customized "getting married" cake topper! if you would like a chance to win this cake topper, all you have to do is become a follower and just enter a comment here with your name so that i can enter you into our raffle. please do so before april 30. the enter will be announced then.

here are some pictures of the "getting married" cake toppers we have created in the past!

road rage

i was waiting to make a right turn at an intersection today. there was a pedestrian crossing the street; an old woman with a walker.

the car behind me began honking. then he swerved around me and nearly hit the old woman. then he honked at her too before speeding off all the while flipping me the bird. i saw red and proceeded to chase after the car to lay down the law (ie my fist), all the while screaming and snarling and maybe drooling a little from all the rage.

unfortunately, that is not a peace sign. it's the steering wheel.

the car pulled over to the side of the road and i slowed down to call him all sorts of nasty names. but the driver emerged, and i saw that he was an old man. a very old man. he slowly turned to give me the stink eye and shake his head in disgust before disappearing into a building.





i decided to draw him using the paint program on my computer because i am still too offended to draw him out with a pen.

two way street together wedding cake topper

a new wedding cake topper by lace & rubbish. it includes a park bench and a street sign. it's smaller in height so it might suit certain cakes better.

fork you

fork you. a new illustration by mates & rubbish.