when is sending curses and ill-wishes towards another individual appropriate?
i've often wished others horrible, horrible, horrible things mainly while driving. for those of you who have never been affected by road rage, you have either never driven or you are lying.
here are some inappropriate things i've wished upon others in the past:
- may you get slowly pecked to death by a swarm of birds.
- i hope you get run over by a semi truck carrying poop.
- may you drown in a sea of spit while others merely watch.
here are some more appropriate things you can say:
- may you get carried off by a single pterodactyl (not a swarm) and fed to its youngsters in one (or two at the most) bites.
- i hope you poop your pants while stranded in a very crowded place full of awesome, important people without a change of clothes or any bathrooms within a five mile radius.
- may you drown your unrequited love in a sea of your spit while you are spouting out words of ardor to impress him or her.
for more examples on appropriate cursing, you can email me and i will send you a detailed list of guilt-free, not-too-evil thoughts to wish upon those who piss you off.