beware the password!

when i was still living in california, i once received a bill in the mail for my internet connection, which i had canceled. i was already in a pretty foul mood, but being charged for a month worth of services which i was not receiving made me super pissy. i picked up the phone and donned my most mature, indignant tone of voice.

the bill was for $60. that's a lot of money. $60 can buy me a really nice shirt with shiny buttons and capsleeves at a relatively expensive store like banana republic or j.crew. or it can get me one doc marten shoe (not the entire pair). or ten $6 meals. or six $10 meals.

after being on hold for an insulting amount of time, listening to phil collins constantly being interrupted by a machine voice that i was valuable customer and to wait a little while longer, i was finally connected to a representative. he made a slight whistling noise through his nose with every breath and his name was ed or bill or some sort of name that made me think of scraggly strands of hair over a bald head, a sparse moustache, and really thick glasses.

in short, he informed that though i canceled the internet connection, i had to cancel the accompanying service of earthlink in order to stop being billed. this didn't make much sense to me and i argued for several minutes. since most people mistake me for a six-year-old child whenever i talk on the phone, i tried to be extra firm and all mature-ish. i demanded to know how to cancel the earthlink connection since i couldn't remember my account or password. he told me my account and then spelled out my password for me.

my password was poopoo. for those who are unfamiliar with the word, it means feces; dung; shit; excrement. i don't remember when or why i chose that certain password. all i can think is that at one point, i decided that nobody else would dare imagine such an ingenious word while trying to hack into my account.

after ed or bill told me my password, i humbly announced that i would pay the sixty dollars by that evening.

the moral of this story? remember your passwords. oh, and make sure it's not poopoo. because for all you know, ed or bill could actually look like a blaine or sven.

blaine or sven with awesome hair and an awesome moustache and an awesome scar

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